"leave room for Jesus" has got to be the creepiest worst thought out bit of dance chaperone "wisdom" ever
"no kids don’t grind on each other grind on our Lord and Savior instead”
Get all up in the Lord’s business, if you know what I mean.
Abel Gideon, the true cannibal.
You garden is quite lovely. It would be a shame if something were to… happen to it…
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND
IF HE SAYS HE’S GOT BEEF
THAT I’M A VEGETARIAN
Don’t ever feel offended if I don’t answer your asks or anons or memes. I’m not ignoring you. I would never ignore anybody on purpose. Either tumblr ate them or I had every intention to and I just forgot.
So this is basically a reminder that I’m human and a terrible one at that so don’t hate me for my flaws because I have a lot of them.
i like how when black widow takes a shower or wets her hair or whatever at falcon’s place her hair’s all wavy but she later has ruler straight hair, like does falcon own a straightener just to make his guests comfortable because that’s lovely